Fix You

Lie: Stories with happy ending are the most enjoyable.

I don't know how many people I've met who can't stand anything but a perfect ending. For some reason I've always loved the melancholy of sad stories. I'm not sure I'll be able to explain it because any time I've tried some one's had an answer to my point that makes perfect sense. Like when I say "sad makes things more believable" I get some one saying
     "It's fiction, I go there to escape the real world." Or one time I thought it was poetic to say that the sad things make the happy moments even more beautiful. The friend I was talking to quickly came back with
     "O yeah sad things happening in stories is fine as long as it's just building up to everything working out fine in the end." That had me stumped for awhile, until I came across yet another despairing thing that literally took my breath away with it's beauty. It was a dance I saw performed. The choreographer put it to the song Fix You by Coldplay. It was danced by just one man and one women. The women was going through some kind of problem, what kind of problem, sickness, heartache or what ever else was left up to the imagination, and the man, connected in a way also left up to the imagination, was forced to sit by with no real way to help, nothing to do but watch someone he loves so much pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvGceaFTne8

 
 Wow! I can't count how many time's I've felt that way. Fix is the perfect word. I just wanta fix them, but I've tried everything I know and they are still so out of reach! And then it hit me. This is why I love the sadness in stories, songs and dances. Because it express the way I feel for me. It simplifies it so that I understand were my own hurt is coming from. I wanta shout "Yes! Yes! that's what I've been trying to say God! That's how I feel."

Misery loves company is more then a cliche. It's the truth about human nature. We want to be understood, and loneliness makes everything else hurt that much more. When someone else can take pain so closely related to you're own and weave it into something beautiful it has the ability to give you so much hope. Hope that you can pull you're self out of the ditch. Because for one you're not the first to be there and two, because now it puts the problem in a clearer light and finally, it makes sense and the situation no longer feels so helpless.
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Lie: Stories with happy endings are the most enjoyable
Truth: Stories with "bad" endings are the works of true poets

A Bowl of Popcorn

Last Saturday. 4 days ago my oldest sister finally got married. I say finally because each step of her relationship seemed to drag on and on. Even the step before he was in her life. In each section, whether it be friendship, courtship or engagement everyone involved looked forward to the next. But now she has reached the final stage and is married to a guy she's completely in love with. For her I can only assume it's bliss! For me however, it feels weird.

     
for the longest time while she was engaged we said not much would change, “she’s never around anyway”. But I’m realizing now that’s not necessarily true. There’s all those families you meet and think you know, then find out later they have an older sibling who you’ve never even heard of. That’s gonna be us. New people we meet will assume Katie is the oldest. There’s no longer the Watt 10. No free ride into work. Only 4 girls will fight for the bathroom etc. Etc. None of them are big things, but they add up. Like right now I'm eating a bowl of popcorn and it feels so strange, Melody and I always make and eat popcorn together. Not the fake microwave stuff, the kind you have to cook on the stove, that's a real pain but so worth it. I’m not sad that things are changing but things are changing. It may end up being exactly what our family needs But that doesn't make it easy to adjust.

This isn't the first big change that has happened lately and with starting up my senior year next week, I know there's more to come...no matter what I do to try and stop it...


Dear Change, we meet again. I'm learning these encounters are impossible to avoid as your tactics are completely unpredictable. Some times you attack suddenly and strike quickly. Others you advance slowly letting me have time to contemplate my doom. Either way the blow is sharp. After all these years I've met my match and surrender myself .
     If my pride may have one dying wish it is that you deal with me gently, I see slowly is not an option. I dare not hope to see the day I do not shudder in your presence but if I could one day see the beauties in you great beast I could be an even greater servant, happily singing your praises. My request does not require an answer. I am certain Time will tell me in your stead.  
      I'll remain until our next meeting
     
      Yours respectfully,

      Lorain Blackwell